Find out if you have Anxiety -

• Do you experience shortness of breath, heart palpitation or shaking while you are resting?
• Do you fear of losing control or going crazy?
• Do you avoid going to places that other people go to because of embarrassment or fear?
• Do you have any fears of certain things?  Ex.  insects, animals, food
• Are you afraid to leave your house?  Afraid to face the world?
• In your mind, do you repeat trauma that you went through in your past almost every day?

If you answered yes to at least four of these questions, you may have an Anxiety Disorder.  Think about seeking medical attention.

• fatigue
• headaches
• muscle tension
• muscle aches
• difficulty swallowing
• trembling
• twitching
• irritability
• sweating
• hot flashes
• stomach problems
• difficulty concentrating
• fear of losing control or being rejected
• inability to relax
• chest pain, chest tightness
• no energy, feeling lethargic, tired
• body jolts
• frequent urination or diarrhea
• anticipating the worst
• being easily startled

These are just a few of the symptoms caused by Anxiety.

Because of my Anxiety, I have decided to volunteer at a hospital so that I can help people.  It will give me that satisfaction of doing a good deed.  On Friday I am going to a different hospital to get blood taken.  It is a requirement in order to volunteer at a hospital.  After that I have to attend an orientation and then I will be able to volunteer.  I am so excited, however knowing that I will be volunteering soon makes me so nervous.  Of course I am questioning if I can actually do this.  But in reality, what is the worse that can happen?  Nothing!  I am volunteering at a hospital!  Not a nut house!  Volunteering at a hospital is probably the safest thing for me right now!

Today I went to Landmark Medical Center in Woonsocket, RI to talk to the Volunteer Coordinator.  She gave me a list of positions that are open for volunteers.  I told her that I have bad anxiety and that I would love to work and help people and that would help me in exchange.  I am not sure which position I want to take yet, but I am so excited and scared at the same time.  I just have to breath and tell myself that I am doing something good for someone else!  I am making someone happy and feeling loved.  I am the one that is helping.  I am the one that is making someone’s day special.  I am going to do everything I can to put smiles on peoples face.  I am going to leave with confidence and a smile knowing that I made a difference in just a few hours.  I haven’t even started yet and I already feel more alive!!  It is a great feeling!

Everyone has Anxiety – but when it gets to the point that your Anxiety is controling your life, you need to do something about it.  Here are a few things that you can try to help you relax and become stress free!

• Meditation

The way that I meditate is I sit Indian style in a very quite room.  I have a calm spray which a spray the room with.  Shut the door and close your eyes.  Breath slowly and count (1 breath in – 2 breath out) continue that for 15 min.  You will feel very relaxed and comfortable.

• Join a Gym

I have terrible social Anxiety and no self confidence.  By going to the gym, you will feel better about yourself  and lose weight and feel healthy.  I was forced to be around people, and that is what I needed.  I am getting married in October 2010 and losing weight and feeling confident will make myself have a great time.

• Volunteer

If you get the satisfaction of helping people, volunteer!  You could volunteer at an animal shelter, homeless shelter or hospital.  There are so many other things that you can volunteer for too.  Explore your options!  I am volunteering at a hospital.  I would volunteer at an animal shelter too, however I am allergic to animals.

• Meet with a Therapist

This is a great idea to just let out your feelings – past experiences, such as a death in the family or being abused.  These things cause anxiety.  By talking about things that you don’t feel comfortable talking about with family or friends, can really pin point what the problem really is.  For example, my mother passed away when I was 16 from CJD.  I am 28 now and I am still terrified that I have CJD.  It consumes my life!  I have gotten every test there is and they all came back negative, but in my head I still wonder about it.  Because of her death, I am terrified of dying and everyone that I love dying.  If my boyfiend leaves on a business trip, I start with the “what ifs”.  What if he is in a plane crash – What if he finds someone else while he on his trip – what if i need him when he is gone – what if I get into an accident when he is gone.  It goes on and on till I go crazy! That’s way it is good to talk to someone about fears.  I talked to a therapist and let out all of my feelings and it helped.

• Medication

I am on Zoloft for my Anxiety.  Medication should  be your last resort.  I did things backwards.  I wish I would have did my homework about Anxiety before I went on Medication.  Medication for Anxiety is like a band aid.  It just covers up your symptoms.  Before you go on medication, you need to try to self help yourself .  Try everything that I listed at the beginning of this post.  It helps – trust me.

I have been home bound f0r months because I am terriffied to leave my house.  I feel like the world is looking at me and saying “yuck – where did she come from”  I do not have any self confidence.  I feel depressed and helpless.  My boyfriend said you should try and get a job and that might help.  I found a little coffee shop that was hiring so I gave it a shot.  I had to have my boyfriend bring me because I was afraid of driving.  I went inside and I immediately felt my heart jump out of my body…it was beating so fast.  Everything around be became fuzzy.  I asked if I could fill out an application.  I sat there and went to fill it out.  My hands were clammy and shaking.  I had to cross so many things out because I couldn’t concentrate.  I left so many things blank.  When I was finished, I went to give it to the owner.  I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.  He started looking at my application and started asking me questions.  My mouth went dry, I started shaking again, everything in my brain went blank.  He was looking at me like I was a freak and that is what I was afraid of.  I left and went back in my boyfriends car and cried.  All night I cried.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me.  I called my father and he said he wanted to meet up the next day for lunch.  I did.  I told him what happened with the coffee shop.  He had a long talk with me.  He told me that him, my sister, and my step mom are very concerned about me.  He started crying.  He also has anxiety and blames my disease on himself.  He gave me a book to read.  It is called From Panic to Power. The author is Lucinda Bassett.  It is such a great book.  I can’t put it down.  The author went through the same thing as me!  I am not alone.

I talked with my sister and she told me that I should join a gym.  Working out with make me healthy and bring my confidence up.  I am going to do that, however I need to use baby steps.  First I am going to volunteer at the hospital that Jeff’s mom works at.  I called and I have an appointment  on Friday, March 5th.  I am SOOOO scared.  I have to drive there by myself and talk to someone.  I hope I can do it.  I am terrified.

I have not had a job in a about 2 years.  I have been going to see a Psychiatrist because I am scared to get a job.  I have bad social anxiety.  I went to fill out an application today at a coffee shop.  I was shaking while filling out the application and when I got home I cried because I am not sure if I can work right now.  I am terrified.  It is a very easy job, however in my mind I think that people are going to yell at me and I will end up quitting.  I am so scared.  I don’t know what to do.  I am on Zoloft and it has been helping, but I am still so scared to go out in the world.  I have no idea what I am going to do if the call me for an interview.  I want to cry.    Any ideas as to what to do?

I was laid off from my last job.  I got unemployment and I was getting a good amount of money every week.  Things were going great!  I was still looking for a job though.  I wanted to work with children and Storks Nest which is a Child Care was hiring for a Teacher’s Assistant job.  I went for the interview and I was hired on the spot.  The director of the day care seemed a little fishy, but it was a job.  On my first day, I was a little shocked that I was put with toddlers.  I had never worked with toddlers – only kindergartners.  In the interview, I was under the impression that I was going to be working with the kindergartners.  Oh well, I was already there and I wanted to meet all of the children.  They were NOTHING like the children that I previously worked with.  I made it through the first day though and I thought to myself  “This might be an OK job”.  The next day, I showed up for work and it was different.  I was being left alone with the children when I specifically told them that I wasn’t comfortable right now being alone with them!  I had never changed a diaper in my life.  The head teacher showed me once on a little girl and then left me with a bunch of children to change their diapers.  I was getting yelled at because I was so confused and kept forgetting to put gloves on or use baby wipes.  I was never taught and I was so scared for the children.  There was one girl that had a poopy diaper and I had NO idea how to change her.  I had her legs up in the air asking for help and no one was helping me.  Finally someone came over to help.  I went to lunch and called Jeff and said “I can’t do it.  This job is just NOT for me.”  I started crying and told him that I want to quit.  He said that’s fine and he doesn’t want me upset over a job.  I went back to Stork’s Nest after my lunch break was over and told the director that I wasn’t coming back.  She was SOOO mad.  I got home and realized that I quit and I am not going to get my unemployment back.  I called unemployment right away and told them that I was at Stork’s Nest for a day and a half and if I could get my unemployment back.  She scheduled a phone interview for me and when they called, I told her everything that happened.   I got a letter by mail about a week later saying that I was NOT approved.  I cried and cried.  I have terrible anxiety and at the time I was seeing a therapist who told me to appeal the decision.  My anxiety was so bad that I couldn’t even go on the computer and click on “Appeal”  Finally, my therapist talked me into it and I appealed it.  It only took a few days till I got the letter to go see an arbitrator and tell my side of the story.  I went with Jeff because he had surgery on his foot and I told him that it was a late appeal because I was in the hospital with Jeff.  He asked how long I was with him and I said 3 days.  I appealed after about 2 weeks.  Needless to say, I didn’t get the unemployment because of the late appeal.  I should have appealed right away. 

Right now I am unemployed.  I am getting married and I want to contribute as much as I can for the wedding expenses.  Weddings are NOT cheap.  I have been looking everywhere for a job which suits me.  I am looking for a part time job.  I went on Craig s List and found  a position called “Coffee shop counter person“  It is a part time job and the hours are 5AM – 2PM.  I would prepare the coffee and pastries for the morning rush and then tend to the counter.  The position is in my town and is about 10-15 from my town.  I would be such a great fit for this position!  The last job I worked for had me do the hours of 5:30AM- 4:30PM, so I think I will be able to handle this position.  I was going to go today to fill out the application, however Jeff being the IT guy he is, did something to the printer and I cant get my resume to print.  I called the company that I will be applying to and they said that the position is still open, so Jeff is going to fix the printer tonight and I am going to go first thing in the morning and fill out the application.  I hope I get a phone call for an interview.

I went through a bunch of my old jewerly and found a few old gold pieces that were either broken or from and old boyfriend.  I wasn’t 100% positive if they were all real, so Jeff and I went to Anthony’s Jeweler’s.  I call first to see if they buy gold.  They said that they did.  I really wasn’t sure if my pieces were real, but it was worth a try.  I thought if I could get at least $10 I would be happy.  We went to Anthony’s Jeweler’s and showed them a necklace, a bracelet and a beat up charm.  He went in the back to see if it as all real.  He came back and said “$100 for all of it”  I looked at Jeff.  I almost fainted.  $100!!  For stuff that I have had for a long time that was just collecting dust!  Woo Hoo….We are putting it toward our wedding.  Maybe use if for buying favors.  Wow, I was surprised!!!